I've been forgetting something

I've realised that, over the last few weeks, I've been forgetting something. Something big. That something is God, my faith in him, and his plans for me. He's been guiding me so clearly over the last 6 months and making it clear what he wants me to do. However, I seem  to have blocked him out for the last few weeks.

I think I've become too worried. I've been scared about moving away to do my dts training. I've let that worry control me. I've been trying to forget about what's actually happening. I've been distracting myself from God and from his plans. whenever people asked about how I feel moving away I'd unenthusiastically reply by saying I'm excited and can't wait to go. I didn't really know how to respond at all. 

God reminded me of his love and his plans for me yesterday and has eased my fears. I've been reminded that I really do need him.

We had some people round today who we haven't seen in a few years. They're a Christian couple who are family friends and now live pretty far away from us. They were talking about a trip they'd been on to Africa and how life changing it was. I suddenly realised how amazing this experience will be for me. I'm gonna meet so many new people and make so many new friends and I'll definitely leave having been changed for the better. I'll experience things that a lot of people won't, and I'll be with God every single step of the way. He'll be guiding me and I'll be following Him. I'll be trusting him more than ever before. He'll be leading me where my trust is without borders. 

I'm so grateful at the moment of God's endless love for us. No matter how many times we mess up and turn away from him, His arms are always open waiting for us to go running back to him. He paid the ultimate price for us to be in His family, and he will never give up on trying to get us to be in His family. I can't even put into words how much he loves every single one of us, no matter what we've done or where we've been in our lives. He longs to have us in his family! God knew we would be messy, and he knows we're going to mess up often. That's the whole point of the cross! 

I found this song last night (How He Loves Us). Matt Chandler speaks in parts of it explaining about Jesus dying on the cross for us. It's so so powerful. It really puts things into perspective and has helped me understand more about God's love for me. I would really recommend listening to it and really taking in what he has to say.

I've learnt that I will go through times like this. I will mess up. I will forget about my faith. God knew that in the first place and he still died for me! He's still there, waiting for me to run back into his arms. 

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I'm leaving next Sunday to start my course with ywam. It's so close. I'm hoping to do a few more posts before I go, and to keep writing when I'm there. Please keep me in your prayers. This could be tricky for me, and I may struggle, but what would be the point in doing this if it was easy...