I've been forgetting something

I've realised that, over the last few weeks, I've been forgetting something. Something big. That something is God, my faith in him, and his plans for me. He's been guiding me so clearly over the last 6 months and making it clear what he wants me to do. However, I seem  to have blocked him out for the last few weeks.

I think I've become too worried. I've been scared about moving away to do my dts training. I've let that worry control me. I've been trying to forget about what's actually happening. I've been distracting myself from God and from his plans. whenever people asked about how I feel moving away I'd unenthusiastically reply by saying I'm excited and can't wait to go. I didn't really know how to respond at all. 

God reminded me of his love and his plans for me yesterday and has eased my fears. I've been reminded that I really do need him.

We had some people round today who we haven't seen in a few years. They're a Christian couple who are family friends and now live pretty far away from us. They were talking about a trip they'd been on to Africa and how life changing it was. I suddenly realised how amazing this experience will be for me. I'm gonna meet so many new people and make so many new friends and I'll definitely leave having been changed for the better. I'll experience things that a lot of people won't, and I'll be with God every single step of the way. He'll be guiding me and I'll be following Him. I'll be trusting him more than ever before. He'll be leading me where my trust is without borders. 

I'm so grateful at the moment of God's endless love for us. No matter how many times we mess up and turn away from him, His arms are always open waiting for us to go running back to him. He paid the ultimate price for us to be in His family, and he will never give up on trying to get us to be in His family. I can't even put into words how much he loves every single one of us, no matter what we've done or where we've been in our lives. He longs to have us in his family! God knew we would be messy, and he knows we're going to mess up often. That's the whole point of the cross! 

I found this song last night (How He Loves Us). Matt Chandler speaks in parts of it explaining about Jesus dying on the cross for us. It's so so powerful. It really puts things into perspective and has helped me understand more about God's love for me. I would really recommend listening to it and really taking in what he has to say.

I've learnt that I will go through times like this. I will mess up. I will forget about my faith. God knew that in the first place and he still died for me! He's still there, waiting for me to run back into his arms. 

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I'm leaving next Sunday to start my course with ywam. It's so close. I'm hoping to do a few more posts before I go, and to keep writing when I'm there. Please keep me in your prayers. This could be tricky for me, and I may struggle, but what would be the point in doing this if it was easy...

Doing something about it. (Getting fit finally...)

As some of you will have seen, I wrote a post a little while ago about how I was struggling with my body appearance. I didn't feel good about the way I looked and I was very unhealthy and unhappy. I knew what I needed to do to fix it, but I just didn't have the motivation to do anything.

I've finally done something. I'm fixing it.

I was laying in bed one night a little while ago, thinking about how I could get fit and healthy and what would motivate me to do it. I turned to pinterest. I started looking at pictures of people who do work out and are fit and healthy (making sure I wasn't getting too obsessive about it). That motivated me enough to start a plan to get fit.

I started off by writing rules for myself to help generally with my lifestyle so that I stop going to sleep at 2 in the morning and waking up at 10-11am and other things. This is what I came up with:
- Be asleep at 10pm every night (11pm latest depending on work)
- Wake up at 8:30-9am every day and no later
- Stick to work out plans
- Don't decide to do a workout later than I planned to (ie. in the afternoon rather than the morning)
- Keep thinking about my motivation and why I'm doing it
- Eat properly (No more McDonalds!!)
- Don't get obsessed with fitness and keep God in the centre of this to stay safe mentally.

At the moment, in terms of exercising, I'm doing a little 8 week plan where you gradually build up the amount you run each day. You do it three days a week (monday, wednesday and friday). I'm finding it so helpful as it's really pushing me to do more than I think I can.

I'm also going to try to fit in a work out each week (I'm lucky enough to have a mum who used to be a personal trainer so I'm going to try to take advantage of that until I leave for ywam) and after each run I do a few squats/sit ups etc. 

Just doing these few simple things is really making a massive difference. I feel so good about myself and I'm looking at my body in a completely different way. I also have a lot more energy and generally feel happier.

I decided right from the start of this that I want to make sure this doesn't become an obsession for me. I don't want to be obsessed with losing as much weight as possible and being a slim as possible. I'm making sure I keep praying about it and keep God in this. I also decided I wouldn't weigh myself. Because this isn't about losing weight for me, there's no point. If I was to weigh myself then I know I would soon become obsessed with the number the scales are showing and trying to lower them. Truthfully, your weight doesn't really show much at all in some cases. This image has helped me with this:                                                                                                                                                           

 

It doesn't even really need explaining...

I really hope that this will motivate people to do the same as me and take control of your like again. Fitness is so important not only for your physical health, but also your mental health. 

Also It's exactly a month until I go to ywam!! How exciting...