Results day: where do we go from here?

On the 13th I got my AS level results from sixth form. This was and wasn't a big deal to me. About half way through the year I almost left as it didn't seem like sixth form was the right choice for me. I started looking at other options; apprenticeships, college courses, anything we could find or think of. One thing we found was YWAM (youth with a mission). It sounded perfect! The only problem was, you have to be 18 or over to do it. So I stuck with sixth form and thought I would be able to somehow motivate myself to do well in subjects I mostly had no interest in.

So then came results day.

I wasn't worried or stressed about it until I pulled up to the school car park and walked into the building. By that point I felt sick. I felt so so sick and nervous about something that I knew was in God's hands. I collected my results. I opened the envelope. I saw the letters written down the page. Then it hit me. I cried. I hugged my friend and sobbed on her shoulder.

The page showed this:
U
E
D
U

I was gutted. (I needed at least E or above in all of my subjects to start year 13)

I pulled myself together and spoke to the head of sixth form about where to go from there. My options are to either restart my A levels with completely new subjects, or to leave the sixth form and go to another college or do an apprenticeship or some other type of course.
The day that this all happened, I was trying to persuade myself that I needed to stay. I needed to do my A levels and stay with my friends and go to prom like everyone else. When I got home, my mum started telling me that I should just leave and that I wouldn't do any better if I went back. I felt like she was telling me that I'm stupid and that I can't do it. I know that isn't what she meant at all but I was tired and emotional and just didn't want to think that I might have to step out of my comfort zone and do something new and different.

I got some sleep and spoke to mum with a clearer mind. I still wasn't sure on the whole leaving sixth form idea, but I listened to her ideas. She mentioned YWAM. I hadn't really thought about it after the last time... She pointed out that I'm 18 about 3 weeks into the next school year, meaning I could do YWAM instead of go back to sixth form. At the moment I'm feeling drawn to do this. I'm still not 100% sure what I'll be doing in a month's time. I just know that a lot is going to be changing, and I'm going to write about all (or at least most) of it on here.

This could be the beginning of the next chapter in my life. Then again it might not be - who knows?! (Well, God does, but you get the gist...)

There's so much more I could write about right now, but this post is already long enough... there will probably be a lot of posts over the next few weeks and months about what's going on - this is helping me get my thoughts straight, so there may be a lot of rambling - sorry in advance! And lastly, please pray for me if you can or want to - I need a lot of guidance from God in this one.